Fear

My urge for my partner to come here has never been as big as it is now. Not because the longing has ever been this big but because it is extremely dangerous for him to be where he is right now: Johannesburg South Africa, where people are being told by the government to stay inside, in order to not get attacked and killed by mobs looking for foreigners they want out of the country. And here I am without any possibility to do something. I just have to wait for time to pass. This one week before he is allowed to come here couldn't be longer or more uncertain. Right now he is hiding in a friend's flat, too scared to even talk to me on the phone in order to not make noise. And I'm so scared, every minute I don't hear from him is just building up the fear. And if something happens, how will I find out? Who would tell me? We're not married, how would someone know that over here there's someone waiting to hear from him? And I can't imagine how scared he and everyone else must be. And I wonder what will happen after today when they don't have food in the flat anymore? Or if they run out of electricity and can't go to buy more? I just wish he could come now. Just now. To be safe.